the porch

it's kind of like a lonliness togetherness type of thing
i just thought of every living fish on the planet at once

today is a very nice day
it is warm
i hope i write many poems abt today
and abt sitting on my porch in my underwear

a worthless poet, no
this isn't worthless this is worth something
if not much something is not a thing
always remember that kids
and adults

the grass is yellow + green from winter
the shadows make everything darker
but they are made by the sun
no, they are made by the things in this world

there are shadows made by poetry contests
and people being violent to each other

trees make the grass darker and clouds block the sun and remove all shadows, no create one
big shadow

a shadow so
big it can
darken a whole
flock of birds

but it's a shadow
that doesn't last
forever because
shadows don't
last forever

just like all the things i am doing wrong won't last forever
if i don't let them
and my poems won't always be abt the same things

and they won't always be abt how nice a day it is

and one day i hope to be sitting on my own
porch in
my underwear

not as a worthless poet
but as something
else
not a pizza boy
or a painter
but something else

did i write abt how nice a day it was  because
i didn't want to think abt other things?
yes
and
no

there are a lot of things i am afraid to think abt

that's scary

like what if
you could see
inside my
head and tell
me what i'm
thinking
would i be better
or worse off?

i guess i protect
myself through
metaphors i guess